Keep Our Children Safe...Put an End to Fun

Okay, America…it’s time to end all fun for our children. It’s time to get rid of all playgrounds, amusement parks, Chuck E. Cheese's, McDonald play lands, swimming pools, etc. While we’re at it, we had better eliminate all bikes, skateboards, roller skates, basketball courts, backyard swings, trampolines, and tree houses. Oh, and we should also put railings around all of their beds to keep them from falling out of bed or getting seriously hurt while jumping on their beds. We should also put bars on all upstairs windows to keep them from falling out of them.

It’s time to leave our children indoors surrounded by soft padded furniture and carpeted floors. It’s also time to keep them from going anywhere or doing anything without adult supervision.

Let's face it, today's children are too fragile and must be protected from all injuries. We can not have them playing in areas where they might actually fall and scrape a knee or where they might get hurt because another child could fall on them. They also seem to lack the common sense necessary to make good decisions. We must protect our children from themselves.

Does this sound asinine to you? I hope so!

This idea is about as asinine as a mother who took her daughter to a Chuck E. Cheese's in Oak Lawn, Illinois three years ago and is now suing that establishment because another child fell on her daughter while she was playing on the slide. It’s Chuck E. Cheese’s fault because they did not have extra staff supervising the play area? Isn’t that the parent’s job?

It’s about as asinine as parents threatening to sue the Six Flags Over Georgia amusement park after their teenage son climbed over not one, but two chain link fences and got into a restricted area. He then got beheaded by a Batman roller coaster ride as he went underneath it. Is it the amusement park’s fault because they did not have security guarding every inch of the ride area? The two fences and multiple signs saying "Danger Zone/Do Not Enter/Authorized Personnel Only” weren't warning enough?

It’s about as asinine as a mother suing her apartment management company because she left her four-year old daughter alone in an upstairs apartment bedroom with an open window and her daughter fell out, landing on the pavement below. It’s the management company’s fault because they did not tell her that another child had previously fallen out of a window in another one of their buildings? It’s the management company’s fault because they didn’t tell her that her daughter could fall out of an open window? Isn’t it her fault for leaving her daughter alone, unsupervised, near an open window?

It’s about as asinine as parents suing a Chicago Metra commuter train company and the Union Pacific Railroad company because their daughter was struck and killed by a commuter train while she was using the train tracks as a shortcut to get to school. It’s the railroad company’s fault for not keeping the fence in good repair and for not posting warning signs along the track warning that it is dangerous to walk on the tracks? Shouldn’t the parents have taught that concept to their daughter?

Hmmmm…on second thought maybe some parts of the idea are not so asinine after all. It might be important to not only protect our children from themselves and others, but to protect our society from their parents, subsequent lawsuits and greedy trial lawyers.